Solitary Soul 馃枻馃尙

There is something about the bitter Le贸n winds greeting my face every morning and the way the hopeful lights of distant villages disappear in the all-consuming fog. 馃寔 Not only does the morning fog engulf the mountainous villages but my soul too. 'Why?' I hear you question.. ⛰️

Yesterday, I taught for the day and I finally felt a sense of purpose. I taught my year 6 class about British music and I played them a variety of songs! They have no idea who Harry Styles is let alone The Beatles! 馃槄 I was thrown at the deep end because I was with a substitute teacher who speaks no English, but it was okay! I understand her Spanish and she understood my Span-Italian 馃嚠馃嚬馃嚜馃嚫☺️ Then, my mentor wanted me to teach the Food & Recipes lesson I did last week for a different year 4 class. I was put on the spot because the projector wasn't working!! So, I had to improvise and we passed my toy octopus around for a warm-up exercise. When the music stopped, the student with the toy had to write a cooking verb on the board :) It was fun! After a successful day of teaching, I finally achieved what I set out to Le贸n for 馃挄 My mentor also wanted to know more about me e.g. if I study and if I want to live in Spain to teach. It felt nice but strangely surreal, shouldn't we have had this formality last week? 

What I don't understand is, how can yesterday be so different to today? 馃檮馃挃 Today is the same story. After hoping that I fixed my relationship with my mentor, I am still not a proper teacher 馃崕 Why am I here? Does she not trust me? Do her black-tinted glasses paint a distorted image of me? No matter how many times or opportunities I take to ask what I can prepare for the week, I get no response. My year 4s had exams today and my year 3 class had a lesson about posters, which I could have taught. As I was walking around the classroom, one little boy called me over and whispered, 'Shannon, are you leaving?'. I reassured him with 'No, I'm not going anywhere' with a soft smile holding the weight of my fatigue and frustration 馃様 The sad thing is, I bet half of them don't even know my name, the stories I hold or even where I come from. 馃嚞馃嚙 At times I am so close to giving up, but I'm not a quitter. I'll win. Since I have been here, it has done nothing but rain, perhaps asking for both the sun and consistent teaching is too much to ask for in Spain 馃嚜馃嚫

P.S Currently in a tiny-box room to seek refuge 馃槄 Also I don't have class until 1! 

- Shan 馃枻

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